klartie:

“we’re having mcdonalds for dinner”

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“i made cookies”

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“i did your laundry for you" 

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“we’re going out you’ll be home alone for a few hours" 

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sexualified:

*loves being independent and spending time with myself
*wants to get married Tomorrow

zackisontumblr:

i have 3 moods:

  • skips every song on my ipod
  • lets the music play without interruption
  • plays the same song on repeat for days

aslutfor5sos:

moriartystayingalive:

If a guy ever spreads a rumor that he slept with you, don’t deny it. One, because there will always be people who think it’s true, and two, because that dumbass boy just handed you the power to say anything you want about what he’s like in bed, and people will believe it. Say he bleats like a sheep when he orgasms. Say he put on pearl earrings and asked you to call him Daisy. Say he couldn’t get it up until he watched an old Billy Mays infomercial. The power is yours.

This is my new favorite post

alexandot:

tumblr is glitching and this is my whole dash

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